Being a step parent comes with the challenge of ';replacing'; (in the mind of children) the other biological parent. However, it is your house, and you and your wife need to unit in the front of parenting as well as establishing boundaries/rules. With that in mind, first step is to work with your spouse on parenting the children, make sure you two are on the same page and that you are supporting each other in front of the children. This will help diffuse some of the issues that will arise, especially with the 17 year old.
Next, spend time getting to know each child asking about their school day, homework, friends. Work on letting the kids know that you respect their biological father but that you have an interest in being in their lives too and will continue to be a consistent and reliable person for them.
Most of all, ask questions, allow them to talk, and give it all time. Nothing happens in a day, as I am sure you know.Need advice on how to be stepfather to a 17 year old boy %26amp; a 7 year old girl?
The most important thing to remember is to let the mother do the disciplining. This has been shown time and time again in research, and as a child with a step-father, I was aware of this before I could read! Just be friends with them and provide support, understanding, and be open. They will eventually learn to appreciate this and will not resent you for trying to be 'dad' by being strict or disciplining.Need advice on how to be stepfather to a 17 year old boy %26amp; a 7 year old girl?
Find something you have in common with the 17 year old, and try to spend time with him, go places where you two can talk and bond. myself and my father go to flea markets and baseball games (try sundays when your not likely take time away from is friends) all the time, those 3ish hours are great we talk and laugh alot about everything. The 7 year old may be easier try just playing with her dolls dress up act as goofy as possible, also help with homework and things like that and make that fun shell love you
Good Luck
The 17 year old is nearly grown, so be supportive and treat his mom and sister right. That will be most important to him. With the 7 year old, listen to her, get to know her, be a great example. But Mom should be doing any disciplining until you have a strong and healthy relationship with her as her step-dad.
Hm, the 17 year old will be trickier than the 7 year old. First, try to connect with both of them,but don't smother. Give them space when they need it, but set up opportunities for you to get to know them 101.
Make sure the younger one realizes you're role as an authority, but focus more on getting to know the older child. Hope this helps.
The 17 year old is probably NEVER going to accept you as a father so I wouldn't get too involved there.
The 7 year old will probably have a lot of trust issues so just listen to her, support her but be firm. The more you have boundaries the more they will respect you.
Good luck! That's an awful place for you to be!!! I'm glad I'm not in your shoes.
be there for them let them know you are not trying to take their father's place love them and my boyfriend would always say my kid her kids when somebody asked him if they were his and he would treat his kid better and i would treat her like i do mine we only see each other when my kids are not home but i keep his little girl on weekends after 3 years i feel she is mine she loves me my kids hates him her mom passed way in 2002 and my kids dad is in prison since 2005 so it is hard on the kids but don't let them treat you bad either because the way he treated my kids we went from living together to him staying weekends and non school days to a couple hours a week together so good luck
Good luck, especially with the 17 year old. Be sure you don't try to act too much like his father, but rather a parental figure / friend. He may be jealous that you're with his mom. Be patient with him... As for the 7 year old, I think she'll get adjusted much easier. Children at that age are easier to win over...
b storng tuff n very loving
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