I feel like I'm missing out on my life. I'm 20 years old and I have very little sense of who I am. Right now I'm in the middle of figuring out which school I want to transfer to because the one I was at was for the most part an awful experience. Between the transition of that school to the unknown next I am attending the community college - that buys me a little time, but I'm still very anxious and confused. I've always been very shy, and I don't exactly have a healthy level of self-esteem to help the case. I'm not concerned with the academic part - my grades are good, I guess what I'm really looking for is advice on how to make myself ';desirable';, for a lack of a better word, to others. What is it that you look for in a friend or girlfriend? How can I make myself more sociable without becoming a doormat/sellout?Any advice for some anonymous girl on yahoo?
Just believe in yourself. Know what you want and don't let anyone stop you.
I just read rebeccas answer. Just one thing- STAY AWAY from bars.Any advice for some anonymous girl on yahoo?
You will not do this but this would really help. Put school on hold and go do something that you really want to do that is fun also, get to know yourself, at least as well as you can, most people in their 30's and 40' have little sense of who they are b/c they spend their entire life doing what is expected of them.
Take a semester off and go some place you have always dreamed of going, school will always be there when you get back, and stop saying you are not desirable that is not desirable to me, you understand, would your prefer a confident guy or a guy who is worried abt his butt size!! OK BYE
Stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself first. What do you see in yourself? Or should I say who do you see in yourself? Beauty beholds in one's heart. So since you are willing to have a change, start with your appearance first. A nice hair cut, new pair of sunglasses and a good attire might be your start of. Personally I don't agree with the change of appearance but sadly most of the people on this earth judge others from their appearance. Regardless, of what you do, do not change your heart. Be who you are. Find friends who have common interest as you do. A hobby maybe... I like to talk to older people, the reason is because I find its easy to communicate my thoughts with somebody mature. I don't seem to fit into my generation but I never regret about it. Be proud of who you are. You said your academically good which means you can attain a good career. Try to find an internship as you transfer to the other college. Going into the working world will enable you to understand how people perceive you and your abilities. Some will motivate you which will definitely help you to boost your self-esteem, others will be always there to criticize but never take those criticism as an offense. Rather take it to learn and change the things within yourself. Best of luck:)
Love and be confident in yourself. People will follow. It may sound corny or cliche, but it is really important.
Once you do that, don't be afraid to talk to anyone near you, about anything you notice. People are desperately lonely and once you by pass their initial suspicion of why a person is talking to them, they will open up. Though talking to groups of people is a different dynamic.
be yourself u seem like an intelligent and wise girl...tht shoold be enough for anyone u want to talk to there are plenty of people who are ';shy'; like you but about finding something important if you find it...let me kno cuz i coold use some help as well
wow-this is alot to ask. but,first things first: you should transfer to (depending on where you live) university of madison wisconsin.It's a small town,with a zoo (that's free),you could practically walk everywhere,iy's not too crowded,has TONS of bars,and good campus life. as for what a person is looking for in a friend-that's hard to say-everybody is looking for something diffrent. My opinion of a friend won't be the same as the person next to me-so my advice is do what you like doing-you may meet someone along the way that likes the same things- you never ever know.
and, just remember- the worlds too big,and were too small. there are a lot of people looking for a friend-chances are,you'll find one someday. and as for you seem bored? try something that you wouldn't normally do (nothing dangerous though)
good luck,
*becka*
People are attracted to others who have self respect. Someone who has integrity and is not self-effacing. Do you put yourself down or allow yourself to be the butt of others jokes? It is difficult when you move into a place where you don't know very many people, but it is also a great opportunity to completely reinvent yourself. Be all the things you want to be, be kind and generous and if someone takes advantage of you for doing so, stay away from them.
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