Gay advice for a straight girl?

my bf met a man and a few months later moves in with him another state away. well, one day he called me and told me how unhappy he was and that he wanted to caome home. he came home for a few days then went right back to him. his boyfriend is SO controling. his boyfriend said he didnt like me, and he had not even met me. he basically pushed all of his (my bf) circle of friends out of the picture. he wasnt really allowed to call me on the weekends that he was off. he had to set up his own account just to e-mail me, so that his boyfriend couldnt see what we were saying. i also sent him a super funny text one time and he e-mailed me, totally freaking out, saying that i cant send stuff like that to him cause it would really piss off his boyfriend. i was shocked cause the text was not affensive to anyone at all?


well, inbetween all this he has told me that he loves his boyfriend, but he really wants to come home. i knew more than likely that he wouldnt, but i told him he could always come stay with me, if need be. i sent him some pics over the holidays of the two of us, back in the days. all he could say about them was how much he looked like a *** and that hes glad he doesnt look like that anymore. he used to be so lively and positively radiant, but now hes dull, never has anything to really say (thats that good) because he has no friends were he lives (hes been there almost 2 years) and he never goes anywhere. this just breaks my heart cause hes been my dearest friend ever since we were in our teens...and this is not the friend that ive had the privelage to know (and i know him very well). he has changed so much and i have no idea what to do, or think about the situation? could someone give me some advice please?Gay advice for a straight girl?
it sounds like he has managed to get himself into an abusive relationship. :(





try to get him to get some help.








http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic鈥?/a>





http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/symptom鈥?/a>Gay advice for a straight girl?
Tell your friend that he is in a co dependent abusive relationship and that, he lost everything that was good about him and that he has beaten him down so far that now he believes it. Try to get him out!!!!!!!!!! honestly he needs your help and if you truely care you will tell him the truth even if its not what he wants to hear
All you can do is offer to help him with coming home. Give him a place to crash while he gets on his feet etc. But really it is up to him, you can't make him leave. You can encourage him to leave and support him. That is it.








L
People change quickly. Find new friends and get over it.
Moral support is best in these situations. Men, gay or not can all be such assholes, believe me I know, I have had boyfriends like your bf's. What you have to do is encourage him as best as you can to hit the road on this guy before he ends up hurt worse than he is or god forbid worse! Stay calm, talk to him, encurage him, and let him make his next move on his own. Thats the best way to show love to your friend, and give him an emotional boost to help him get out of the sitaution he is in. I wish you the best, and thank you for your great question!
There is nothing you can do other than talk to him. Confront him in a peaceful and concerned way. Don't attack him or his boyfriend, he will just go on the defensive, and that never gets anyone anywhere. Other than that, it is his personal choice and no one had any say on the matter other then him. If he is honestly happy, then you should be for him to. Some people just change. That is life and sometimes it sucks. Good Luck.
I know this is hard for you but he has to live his own life. Have you considered talking to his folks and letting them know how concerned you are now that he has been cut off from his friends. It might be helpful if his parents showed their concern/fear also.


I'm glad you've offered him a safe place. He has to make a decision but it sounds like this this other fella has a 'bad' kind of control over your friend. He is not in a good, healthy relationship. Honesty and trust are needed in a relationship. It could turn physical and your friend could get hurt (or worse). It does happen in gay relationships too. Some people are just bad. Tell him you are really concerned over this 'control issue; it is NOT love. It is a power game and your friend will not win. He needs to get out now. If you need more info, call the gay center and PFLAG.ORG for support. Hope everything turns out well for both of you..
It sounds that he may be in a very controlled and possibly abusive relationship, and unfortunately, theres not really much you can do about that besides be there for him when he needs your support. Just be careful with what you say and send to him, I know that sounds stupid, but if his boyfriend is really that controlling that its just to keep him safer, from his boyfriend flipping out. Just let him know you're there if you ever need to talk, the door is always open, and if he ever needs help that you will be there. Just remind him of what a strong person he can be and how you hope he's happy where he is. Subtly let him know that you are concerned for him. Good luck!